What does grief have to do with discovering you are gifted?
A lot, as it happens, for late-identified gifted adults, especially the twice- and multi-exceptionals and, I suspect, even more so for those who are highly, exceptionally and profoundly gifted.
As an adult, you have endured years of internal and external misunderstandings, poor choices and unhappy outcomes because of your ignorance.
Struggling to fit in and make things work, yet failing time and time again. Even more critically, failing to understand why you fail, how to learn from your failures and how to stop the vicious cycle from repeating.
Then one day you finally learn that you are gifted and you go, “That’s why!” And perhaps, like me, you also thought, “Alrighty then! Time to get cracking. After all, I’ve wasted enough years already, can’t afford any more!”
But instead of bouncing up and moving on as smoothly as you had hoped and expected, you find yourself up against a whole new suite of roadblocks—old friends, you might say—that you assumed should have been banished in the light of your newfound knowledge.
Anxiety, dread, existential depression once again and unreasonable fatigue.
You get angry and frustrated, understandably so.
- Wasn’t finding out about your giftedness supposed to be good news?
- Isn’t that knowledge supposed to make your life better from here on?
- Why are you facing these old nemeses again and feeling worse instead?